dan (dan501) wrote,
dan
dan501

last week was the first day of the rest of my life

appropriately, at the outset of this voyage, a vial of glitter came unscrewed in my pocket. I'm covered in glitter. all my stuff is covered in glitter. everywhere I've been is sporting a trail of glitter. it's been a Glitter Incident. quite auspicious.

this here's the story of the start of the biggest trip I've ever taken. let me tell you a bit about my life...

I've worked at the same job since 1993. she's treated me well; we've enjoyed a wonderful symbiotic relationship. however, over the last few years, my interests have shifted and I've wanted to spend my 9-5 doing more artistic things. in fact, my primary goal at work for the last 4ish years has been to shuffle things around and get stuff done such that I could telecommute part-time and not leave her in a lurch.

after one of the more trying and interminable battles I've ever waged, I finally did it - last thursday was my last day in the office. which means that, unlike what southwest offers, I'm now free to move about the world.

I'm typing in the dallas airport - the obvious logical place for a stopover between LA and my new digs - paris. for the reefer madness crowd, today is 4/20 and my plane to paris boards at 4:20.

I've never lived outside LA. never. LA is just something I've sort of assumed forever (it's been the assumed setting for my movie, not that I've assumed I'd live in LA forever). it wasn't until recently that I even noticed that I'd never lived anywhere else. it wasn't until even more recently that I realized I recently set a new personal record for longest duration of consecutive days outside LA - about 7 weeks in australia and new zealand. I'd never spent 2 months away from my parents house (not that I've lived with my parents the whole time, but just that I've never been far from the vicinity)? I recall being somewhat shocked when I encountered a 25ish year old girl in south dakota who said she'd never been more than a couple hundred miles from where we were standing. and I've never gone two months without seeing the 405? damn...

off I am and off I'll stay. leaving a wake of glitter, apparently. the good news is that I'll have more time to take pictures, update my lj, spin poi, and not have such pressing compulsory hustle and bustle. the more good news is that I intend to speak markedly better french than I do today (which, with a week of hindsight, is amazingly true. my french is WAY better than it's ever been).

the less good news is that I'll be away from Her.

a while back, I wrote that I'd found the girl. as it turns out, I was right. my statuesque canadienne (who here in my lj, for the sake of innocence-protecting name-changing, I call krista) and I are happily embarking upon the rest of our mutual lives. she and I are engaged to be married at an unspecified date in the future. at a specified location in the future - burning man.

years ago, I was talking with an ex girlfriend who'd recently gotten married. she told me that getting married changed her relationship. she said that it wasn't like before getting married she'd had a crap relationship. she had intimacy and trust and all the fixins. but, she claimed, when she got married, it suddenly hit a new level that she didn't even know was missing before. at the time, I dismissed it as newlywed hysteria. or warm feet. or something. I defer. my own thoughts and feelings toward krista and our relationship took a giant leap in the aftermath of our engagement. my theory is that the knowing that I'd made a life-long commitment is what that's about. I think.

the way it all happened was relatively fairytalltale... she and I broke up and up we stayed broke until thursday night at burning man. we'd talked during the broken upness, but we were not a lingering breakup or on-again-off-again (jiggity jig). during the broken up time, we both grew and changed. except at the time, I only saw how she'd grown and changed.

during the breakup talks, krista told me she had planned on proposing to me saturday night as the man burned. also during the breakup talks, I told her I didn't think I'd have said yes. by thursday night, I'd forgotten about that exchange.

I started thursday the way I had started every day since breakup - not thinking that she and I would get back together. but I had a revelatory thursday and conciously realized that she'd grown and changed. and I re-realized what a wonderful badass she is and how she and I will make each others' lives better forever.

I strode up to her, gently grabbed her chin and turned her face toward mine.
I said yes.

and that was all.
it was clear to me that I'd just asked her to marry me.
I subsequently learned that she understood it as well.
surprising how much sense it makes.

I didn't get a picture of it - except in my mind. I have this wonderful snapshot in my head of her in chloe (the green faux-fur watermelon cloak pictured below), with half her face obscured by shadow, and the rest glimmery inridesent... like a flashbulb or fireworks are going off around her. that image, more than anything I've ever experienced makes me want to be able to draw. at least I've got it in my head.

as I missed the opportunity to physically capture the amazing mind's-eye-only picture, I cannot show it to her, you, or anybody else. but I've got two others that work in its stead.

one of the cool things about getting engaged is that I got to be right about this picture. I was a bit overcome with herness during an alone moment shortly after we met. pragmatically speaking, I took that picture to hedge my bets - if I turned out to be right about our future, I'd have quite an amazing present to give her. if I turned out to be wrong, I'd never show it to anybody. I didn't show it to anybody until we were engaged. I contemplated saving it for a wedding gift, but I was too excited to share.


about 6ish hours after the yes, I got this picture of our first together sunrise.


4/20 is genuinely the first day of the rest of my life.
and I start it covered in glitter.


thank you jessica and everybody else who helped this transpire
yes - I know it's not 4/20 anymore and I know I'm not in dallas - I've spent quite a week in paris, but quite an internetless week. having a great time - wish you were here
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Damn . . . just . . . damn . . . Congratulations, man! The writing is beautiful, the photos are beautiful, the story is beautiful . . . *raises a glass to you and you (in the plural sense)*
first - thank you.
second - I wrote the same thing to a friend who's doing a grand euro-tour right now: http://ruespieler.livejournal.com/26742.html
(translation: beautifully written and beautifully lived)

llythefaerye

11 years ago

dan501

11 years ago

llythefaerye

11 years ago

dan501

11 years ago

llythefaerye

11 years ago

dan501

11 years ago

llythefaerye

11 years ago

holy moly!!

way to go! :)
holy moly - perfect. I'll need to tell my host about that. lots of people say it's cute that I talk like tintin (childhood comic book that everybody in france knows) when I say things like zut alors! and sacre bleu! which are both essentially holy moly.

thanks

Wow. That was beautiful.
you ought to come visit. maybe not forever, but...
thanks

re:

foreverparis

11 years ago

dan501

11 years ago

foreverparis

11 years ago

Congrats Dan! I wish both of you a wonderful FOREVER!

did I ever send you the picture(s) of jason proposing to you?

Re: YAY!

dan501

11 years ago

wowsa.

this moved me. i wish you both the best.
moving you is that to which I aspire. thank you for the co^mpliment and the well wishes
If I weren't at the Reference Desk right now, I'd be crying for the absolute love I see in your writing and your pictures.

Congratulations on EVERYTHING!
thank you - it heart-cockle warming to hear that it comes through like that.
Huzzah!!

I await amazing picturey goodness from the city of phallic scaffolding.
I've got a couple nice monumenty ones and a couple not monumenty ones. but my internet situation is trying at the moment.
Congratulations!! Despite the days where you were broken up, it turned being a wonderful thing! Congrats also on moving to Paris. I look forward to your updates on lj more often. Good luck with the move and with the engagement!! ♥
thank you muchly on the all that. I agree; the breakup turned out to be the ting we needed - without it, I doubt we'd be engaged today.
Whoa...I don't know how to write this without sounding like a cheeseball...reading this made my heart soar. This goes up there in the top two real-life love stories I've heard (the other having been told by an eighty-some year old man who had known and loved his wife for almost his entire life).

Congratulations. And thank you for the contact high.
I felt a little cheeseball writing it, hence I understand. but I can take it if you can (and apparently we can).

that's so warming to hear that my little old story ranks as such. though apparently I'll need to try harder next time

thank you thank you
I've already given you and Krista congratulations many times over, so I will instead congratulate you on changing your life and moving away. I'm trying to do the same thing befoe the end of 2006. It's simultaneously scary and freeing at the same time. I don't know if you're aware but you've been a big inspiration for me simply because you lead by example. So thank you. I know we'll run into each other again, at Burning Man or somewhere out there in the world, so until that day..
indeed you have. thank you.
come visit - I think I'll be afar at the end of 06 but don't know where right now. my advice is that it's worth the herculean zork it reaquires.

you telling me I'm inspirational is inspirational to me. really. I think that without such encouragement, I wouldn't be who I am.

a bientot
I'm speechless, all words seem inadequate, but full of joy for you and Krista.

En cette photo, vous deux avez la lumière de l'amour dans vos yeux. Quel lever de soleil merveilleux pour le matin de votre vie.
je ne sais pas si "le matin de ma vie" est une expression connu en france mqais je l'aime. et particularement pour cette occassion.

thank you. the A in Amandarin in your icon reminds me of the eiffel tower.

aamandarin

11 years ago

dan501

11 years ago

Beautiful story... congratulations. You've got me chokin' up at work here. And I barely even know ya. Tears of joy...
thank you so much. it gives me wistful smiling far off gazing contentedness to hear it from a near stranger.

Anonymous

April 27 2006, 22:17:08 UTC 11 years ago

That's amazing. Best of luck to both of you
thank you, I said to the ether.
I say, fabulous! :) Good luck to you!!!!
thank you thank you.
Lucky girl : )
indeed she is.
which is far from saying I'm not a lucky boy)
how's your life and where are you eating lunch these days?

uratowel

11 years ago

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