dan (dan501) wrote,
dan
dan501

last week was the first day of the rest of my life

appropriately, at the outset of this voyage, a vial of glitter came unscrewed in my pocket. I'm covered in glitter. all my stuff is covered in glitter. everywhere I've been is sporting a trail of glitter. it's been a Glitter Incident. quite auspicious.

this here's the story of the start of the biggest trip I've ever taken. let me tell you a bit about my life...

I've worked at the same job since 1993. she's treated me well; we've enjoyed a wonderful symbiotic relationship. however, over the last few years, my interests have shifted and I've wanted to spend my 9-5 doing more artistic things. in fact, my primary goal at work for the last 4ish years has been to shuffle things around and get stuff done such that I could telecommute part-time and not leave her in a lurch.

after one of the more trying and interminable battles I've ever waged, I finally did it - last thursday was my last day in the office. which means that, unlike what southwest offers, I'm now free to move about the world.

I'm typing in the dallas airport - the obvious logical place for a stopover between LA and my new digs - paris. for the reefer madness crowd, today is 4/20 and my plane to paris boards at 4:20.

I've never lived outside LA. never. LA is just something I've sort of assumed forever (it's been the assumed setting for my movie, not that I've assumed I'd live in LA forever). it wasn't until recently that I even noticed that I'd never lived anywhere else. it wasn't until even more recently that I realized I recently set a new personal record for longest duration of consecutive days outside LA - about 7 weeks in australia and new zealand. I'd never spent 2 months away from my parents house (not that I've lived with my parents the whole time, but just that I've never been far from the vicinity)? I recall being somewhat shocked when I encountered a 25ish year old girl in south dakota who said she'd never been more than a couple hundred miles from where we were standing. and I've never gone two months without seeing the 405? damn...

off I am and off I'll stay. leaving a wake of glitter, apparently. the good news is that I'll have more time to take pictures, update my lj, spin poi, and not have such pressing compulsory hustle and bustle. the more good news is that I intend to speak markedly better french than I do today (which, with a week of hindsight, is amazingly true. my french is WAY better than it's ever been).

the less good news is that I'll be away from Her.

a while back, I wrote that I'd found the girl. as it turns out, I was right. my statuesque canadienne (who here in my lj, for the sake of innocence-protecting name-changing, I call krista) and I are happily embarking upon the rest of our mutual lives. she and I are engaged to be married at an unspecified date in the future. at a specified location in the future - burning man.

years ago, I was talking with an ex girlfriend who'd recently gotten married. she told me that getting married changed her relationship. she said that it wasn't like before getting married she'd had a crap relationship. she had intimacy and trust and all the fixins. but, she claimed, when she got married, it suddenly hit a new level that she didn't even know was missing before. at the time, I dismissed it as newlywed hysteria. or warm feet. or something. I defer. my own thoughts and feelings toward krista and our relationship took a giant leap in the aftermath of our engagement. my theory is that the knowing that I'd made a life-long commitment is what that's about. I think.

the way it all happened was relatively fairytalltale... she and I broke up and up we stayed broke until thursday night at burning man. we'd talked during the broken upness, but we were not a lingering breakup or on-again-off-again (jiggity jig). during the broken up time, we both grew and changed. except at the time, I only saw how she'd grown and changed.

during the breakup talks, krista told me she had planned on proposing to me saturday night as the man burned. also during the breakup talks, I told her I didn't think I'd have said yes. by thursday night, I'd forgotten about that exchange.

I started thursday the way I had started every day since breakup - not thinking that she and I would get back together. but I had a revelatory thursday and conciously realized that she'd grown and changed. and I re-realized what a wonderful badass she is and how she and I will make each others' lives better forever.

I strode up to her, gently grabbed her chin and turned her face toward mine.
I said yes.

and that was all.
it was clear to me that I'd just asked her to marry me.
I subsequently learned that she understood it as well.
surprising how much sense it makes.

I didn't get a picture of it - except in my mind. I have this wonderful snapshot in my head of her in chloe (the green faux-fur watermelon cloak pictured below), with half her face obscured by shadow, and the rest glimmery inridesent... like a flashbulb or fireworks are going off around her. that image, more than anything I've ever experienced makes me want to be able to draw. at least I've got it in my head.

as I missed the opportunity to physically capture the amazing mind's-eye-only picture, I cannot show it to her, you, or anybody else. but I've got two others that work in its stead.

one of the cool things about getting engaged is that I got to be right about this picture. I was a bit overcome with herness during an alone moment shortly after we met. pragmatically speaking, I took that picture to hedge my bets - if I turned out to be right about our future, I'd have quite an amazing present to give her. if I turned out to be wrong, I'd never show it to anybody. I didn't show it to anybody until we were engaged. I contemplated saving it for a wedding gift, but I was too excited to share.


about 6ish hours after the yes, I got this picture of our first together sunrise.


4/20 is genuinely the first day of the rest of my life.
and I start it covered in glitter.


thank you jessica and everybody else who helped this transpire
yes - I know it's not 4/20 anymore and I know I'm not in dallas - I've spent quite a week in paris, but quite an internetless week. having a great time - wish you were here
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ok, that was worth messing up my friends page over. :)
ha... it gave me pause to link such big pictures. but at the moment, I'm cybercafe only which means using pics I already had online. and after reflection,I figured exactly that; once-in-a-lifetime posts have license to mess up friendspages.

thanks for the validation.

Deleted comment

felt like a dream at the time, more than most people would imagine.
and the next day - same thing. felt dreamy and was teary for days after.
thank you

Deleted comment

dan501

11 years ago

Anonymous

April 27 2006, 23:29:43 UTC 11 years ago

Ah, mon ami, ceci est merveilleux! (Et, ton ordinateur, l'utilize-tu ça en Anglais ou Francais?) Quels grands changements!

Et ton amour pour ta fille - ah, c'est magnifique. Mes meilleur pensées pour vous avec ça!

Ne nous oblie pas - nous souvien souvent!
Ah, mon ami, ceci est merveilleux! (Et, ton ordinateur, l'utilize-tu ça en Anglais ou Francais?) Quels grands changements!

Et ton amour pour ta fille - ah, c'est magnifique. Mes meilleur pensées pour vous avec ça!

Ne nous oblie pas - nous souvien souvent!
quand j'ai ecrit ca, anglais. a ce moment, francais. je deteste les claviers francqis.

merci pour tes felicitations et je n'oublierai jamais mes amis a los angeles.
Congratulations darlin.

from my heart to yours. :)

You got to meet Dominic, now get your ass to San Diego so I can meet her.
thank you. "from my heart to yours" is such a beautiful way to picture such things.

mais c'est difficile, ca.
Damn, what a tender post! I hope you have babies. I want to be crazy Aunt P.
we both look forward to the babies. I cannot speak for her without consulting, but I look forward to crazy auntie P as well. and the portaits of kids resulting.
i'm so happy for you.. congratulations to the both of you =)
thank you. and (a very late) thank you so much for the care package.
Dude.

u.

rock.
thank you.
I haven't forgotten about the pictures I owe you - I've got them here and I'll send them as soon as I have a better internet connection.
What a beautiful story (and as always, amazing photos).

I am in sitting in the middle of Cambodia and I can say that is one of the nicest things I have seen and read in a long time. Angkor ain't got nothing on you.
thank you

what are you doing in cambodia (I feel like a tool asking that without having read your journal which probably contains the answer)? a friend from LA is doing social work with aids kids there without specific plans to return.

Angkor? (I feel like a tool, though less of a tool, asking without googling. less of a tool because I'd prefer your answer anyway)

lazarus7

11 years ago

dan501

11 years ago

lazarus7

11 years ago

That photo of you in tears is absolutely astonishing.
thank you. I'm so glad it worked for/on you.
Congrats, hon.
merci miel
I want to congratulate you on the bit no one else has so far- the freedom which has got you walking the Golden Road.

Don't get me wrong- I'm thrilled about your engagement. You two go so terribly well together that it makes me grin to know you'll always be so. Plus, I no longer have to worry about any girls I'm after making it past Dan first.

But having made the same decision on itinerance myself, I feel a warm cameraderie as I see you rolling up the on-ramp. "May the road rise up to meet you."

Gratz.
thank you.
interesting that. perhaps it's because the engagement story came after hence was in people's minds? or perhaps the pictures were both of engagement? or perhaps it's the general mindset that engagement is a bigger deal. and maybe it is.

thank you on both counts and bonne chance cherche la femme surla rue.

see you shortly.

Re: the golden road

dan501

11 years ago

Dan, that is so so beautiful. Congratulations!
thank you. and tell the US to stop being so greedy (which I know you are)
ps, the states will be sadder without you
Yes, this is true . . . but those of us who've never had the pleasure of meeting the man in person may get to *see* more of him this way . . . so is not all bad for us!! =D
Ummm . . . *chuckles* . . . wow - I don't think I've ever scene multiple pages of comments . . . *grin*
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