dan (dan501) wrote,
dan
dan501

you kiss your mother with that mouth?

soap opera says, you've got one life to live.
baz luhrman says, do something every day that scares you.
I was talking about the baz plan last night on my way to get food that definitely scares me. not scary like eating bugs. scary like denny's. we were forced into denny's by the late hour and the god awful taste in our mouths. "tastes like ass" is downright pleasant by comparison.

it's around midnight in culver city. even the ampm won't sell me a snapple to quench the chemical wasteland that is my mouth. I'm coping with a suck which I've heretofore only been forced to imagine.

and I'm happy about it.

the evening started out as most wednesday evenings do. together with some fire friends to spin fire in the weekly event which someone else christened "spin jam."

the donation box is freshly decorated like scrooge's christmas tree. green LEDs in the shape of a $. the new folks were, for some reason, skeptical that we were actually going to light things on fire in the middle of the oil field in this urban setting.

is this a gauntlet I see before me? I put up, threw down, and walked the walk. I got an excellent compliment from an old time fire spinner: "you're one of the best poi spinners I've seen in a long time - poi spinners from LA are so rigid and structured. you have a very graceful flow." awwww shucks, ma'am.

after all but the hardest of the corps have left, the conversation turned to other fire tools that we might be into trying. a friend and I both bring up fire breathing to the head of our breathing squad. we start getting a bit of the prep talk regarding "the most dangerous stunt a fire eater can perform"

I'm in.
I mean, what's the worst thing that could possibly happen? denny's. remember the denny's. I told him that if he deemed it safe, I'd do it tonight (there is no try).

the guy is going over what to do and what to not do, what to expect and what to not expect. specifically, don't expect it to not taste like ass.

for myriad reasons, the fuel we're using is isopryl alcohol. the kind you find in a second hand store. or a thrify. the kind you rub on your face that burns your eyes and nose. the kind that stings when you get a drop in your mouth. I was like wtf mate?

here's a little game. if you're brave, you'll play along. the cool kids are all doing it. go to your bathroom and find the rubbing alcohol. if it says methyl, either find something else or don't play. open the bottle and hold it directly beneath your oculars for 5 seconds. hold it directly beneath your olefactory for 5 seconds. see how you're feeling. take a couple drops and put it on your tongue. how you livin?

take, if you will, a big mouthful of that gunk. hold it. don't go to the cave for your power animal. take the pain of the 3 carbon backchain in your mouth. keep holding it. like chemical burn, no?

whenever I've used alcohol, be it on my face, on a wound, or on an enemy, the smell always makes me cringe at the presumed flavor. the bark has nothing on the bite. several times, I had to catch myself from sniveling and remind myself that I'm going to suck it up, so to speak, and take it like a man.

now spit.
no wonder they call it firewater.

while vowing to call the next guy I see doing a jaeger shot a pussy, I repeatedly imbibe that vile spirit. unlike your home version of this game, however, I've got an upside which you should not try at home.

other than the servant of god thing, I was like that old preacher in from dusk til dawn... a bad mother fucking fire breathing servant of god. seriously. think about it for a sec. I shot fire from my mouth.

fire.

from my mouth.

mouths still desiccated and fumey, we pack up and seek any establishment willing to sell us liquid relief.
strike one at the ampm.
strike two at the 24 hour place that wasn't.
we succumb to denny's so as to not strike out.

we discuss some of us being afraid of the fire that close to our collective face. we also discuss this event being something that that we'll remember a year from tonight. when was the last time you did something you'll remember one year hence? if not recently, change that. right now. take the world in a love embrace. we extolled the benefit of doing something that scares you. baz gave a lot of worthwhile advice in that song. doing something everyday that scares you is a neat trick, if you can turn it.

so what's the moral of my story?
follow baz's advice.
follow nike's advice.
follow soap opera's advice.
follow pink floyd's advice.

follow steppenwolf's advice:
take all the fuel in your mouth and explode into space.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 96 comments